#3, Skydiving, Bought and Paid For

It's going to happen. The ticket has been bought and paid for. I have a good friend on board and a deadline is set. Within one year, I'll be jumping out of a plane with a man and a parachute strapped to my back. Am I scared? Terrified! This is the girl who not only gets scared on the little kid's parachute ride at an amusement park, but also hates ski lifts and not a huge fan of top floors. But it's on the list, so I'm doing it. 

Why would I put it on my list you ask? Well, I don't like being afraid of things. I don't like the fact that something as simple as fear will stop me from trying new things and enjoying my life. Skydiving seems like a good way of facing this fear, even if it is a little extreme. Also, it is something me and my friend J have talked about doing for a long time.

J is one of my oldest and best friends. It's kinda funny that although she is probably one of my most logical friends, she is also the friend that is there when I do crazy or stupid stuff. She never judges, but she always has the first aid kit or Kleenex box ready. Like when I decided to pierce my tongue to celebrate passing algebra with a C; she had the ice bags already made up in the freezer. When I decided to drive cross country alone; she was my midway stop with food and coffee ready. This is why I was so excited that she wanted to do this with me. I'll be scared and nervous. But with my best friend with me, I'm sure it will make it easier.

#19 A Date with Myself

     So after a crazy busy holiday full of family and friends, I was a little drained. I had spent literally every night for almost two straight weeks out. I know I'm very lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. People who want to spend time with me, and who I love hanging out with. However, I was a little bit tired and had started to miss a very important person in my life, myself. Over the years, I have realized a few things about myself. One such thing is that although I prefer to be out with people; I do need some alone time to recharge. During this past week that's exactly what I planned, a little one on one with me. With this in mind, I figured this was the perfect time to complete #19, see a movie alone.

      Now I find nothing wrong with people who go to movies and restaurants by themselves. In fact, I think my friends who do this are very confident and self-assured. Traits that I'm striving for in myself. However, I myself am always worried about how I look to others, and what people are thinking of me. I thought I would worry that people might pity or think strangely of me. But, I put this on my list for a reason. I wanted to have more confidence and be more secure with my own self.

      So last Wednesday I planned a date for myself. I marked it in my calendar and even turned down plans with a friend. All this to make some much needed time for myself. It started with a little apartment shopping (working on #22), and then treating myself to some dinner at Panera Bread. I then walked across the street to the large multiplex. My heart was starting to race a little and I felt a little weary asking for a ticket for one, but the man behind the booth didn't seem startled. He took my money, handed me my ticket, and I moved along. I thought, this was easy and not nearly what I worked up in my mind. Still the bigger challenge was up head, sitting in the movie alone. I walked into the theater, of course anxious, found a seat and looked around. Not very crowded, mostly couples and one other byselfer (don't really want to call us loners). I started to relax and really enjoy myself. I mean seriously I had both armrests to myself, got to sit where I wanted, see the movie I wanted, and as a bonus not worry about people talking during the show.

      Then as my favorite part started, the previews, two cute boys decided to walk in and sat right in front of me. At first, I felt mortified. Here I am with no friends, sitting by myself in a theater with two cute guys a few feet in front.. They glanced back a couple of times. This only made me feel more insecure and stupid. But I started to think how I was actually having a nice time. Then I realized how stupid and immature I was being and strangely I started to relax. Who cares what they think of me. I was actually having a good afternoon. I had good food, great shopping, and now I was seeing a movie I really wanted to see. I simply stopped caring. Well, honestly, for the most part I stopped caring. I mean there were still two cute boys in front of me who turned around a few times glancing at me (in retrospect, maybe I should have struck up a conversation). All in all, though, I did enjoy myself.

       So now I know, spending time with yourself outside of the house not so scary. It can even be fun. Now would I choose to see a movie alone instead of with friends, probably not. I still really enjoy being with other people. Nevertheless, if a movie comes out that no one wants to see, I'm there with one of my favorite friends, myself.

      Oh by the way the movie, Black Swan pretty good. A very dark thoughtful movie. If those are your type of movies, go see it. If not, you may want to rent it. Natalie Portman was excellent. So number 19 complete! I had a great date all by myself.